Marco Diaz vs the world
by EVAunit42
Summary: When college student, Marco Diaz, agrees to meet up with Star Butterfly, he never thought he would end up pretending to date the princess. but when Star explains that she isn't able to date her dream man until someone manages to defeat her 7 evil exes and disband them, Marco is pulled into an adventure he never dreamed of. but Marco's got this, right? Based on Scott pilgrim.
1. Marco, meet Star

Hello fanfiction! author here and here it is, the long awaited Marco Diaz vs the world AU oneshot i did on always a star finally made into its own story i promised for like ever ago. enjoy and i own nothing!

* * *

Marco let out a sigh as he checked his watch for the 15th time in the last 20 minutes. As he rolled his eyes in annoyance, he briefly wondered if this person was even going to show up. She was already 30 minutes late and Marco had other things to do. If this wasn't for Jackie, he wouldn't have even been caught in this stupid coffee place.

"Things I do for Jackie" Marco muttered as he rose from his seat. Everyone and their mothers knew Marco had a thing for Jackie. What people couldn't figure out is why he hadn't asked her out. Marco had quite the dedicated fanbase with most girls finding his dorky behavior more endearing than off putting. That, combined with his black belt, his intelligence and the fact he was a good looking guy, most girls would easily say yes to dating Marco.

However, Marco suffered from one critical flaw, common among numerous people.

Low Self esteem.

Marco didn't see himself as highly as the others did. In fact Marco thought himself average. He didn't break the rules. He didn't go out on adventures. He just was here, being Marco. Being boring.

As Marco gathered his trash, the door of the corporate money trap was thrown open. "Sorry everyone!" A cheerful rang out throughout the store "Go back to you to whatever you were doing!" There was barely a murmur, the incident quickly forgotten.

Marco turned to finally leave, he found himself face to face with an eager eyed, bouncing blonde staring intently at him.

With her blue blouse/dress outfit, devil horns headband and painted on hearts on each cheek, she didn't see like the type of person that knew Jackie. Still, Marco wasn't the type of person who was friends with Ferguson

"Umm...Can I help you miss?" Marco cautiously asked, afraid this girl was going to lunge at him in an attempt to get his table.

The girl seemed confused before eying his outfit carefully. "Red hoodie, black pants, cute mole. You're Marco right? Jackie's friend?"

Marco could feel his face flushing as the girl began to poke at his mole, almost to trying to see if it was real or not.

"Yes! I mean it isn't cute." Marco groaned in frustration "Ugh, I mean I am Marco, are you Star?"

"Huh? Oh yes! Star Butterfly" She bowed quickly, smashing her head against Marco's and nearly sending him sprawling to the floor.

"Oww, geez you got a thick head" Marco grumbled as he tried to stop the pain "Are you okay?"

Star nodded happily as she mirrored his actions "Yep! Sorry about that and the fact I was late. I'm still getting used to this place! I mean this is nothing like back home."

Marco looked at her quizzically "Getting used to Canada?"

"No, Earth." she replied with the straightest poker face Marco ever saw.

"Riiiiight" Marco was unsure what was going on but he was quickly regretting agreeing to help out Star "Well take a seat and umm...I'll see what I can do to help you."

As Star reached for her chair, Marco held out his hand and pulled the chair for her, motioning for her to take a seat.

"Thanks Marco! That's really sweet" Marco coughed as he pushed in her chair gently and took his seat across from her.

"So...Miss Butterfly..."

"Please" She cut him off with a pearly white smile "Just Star."

"Star, Jackie said you needed help with something. I mean I'm not sure what I can do but I'll be happy to help."

For the first time since meeting this strange, weird, perky girl, Star's face fell and she slipped into a silence even Marco could tell was abnormal for her.

"Well you see...Jackie mentioned you were a black belt, which apparently means you are an excellent fighter." Marco nodded, still not quite seeing why his fighting skills would be needed in any way. "And I really need someone to help me out with something. There's this guy, Oskar..."

"Wait, you want me to beat up this Oskar guy? Cuz I don't really do..."

"! DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH OSKAR!" Star screamed, her hearts somehow turning into flaming skulls. Marco backed away as Star shot him a glare that seemed to pierce his very soul.

"Sorry, sorry! I mean that's what it sounded like what you wanted. Especially since you mentioned my black belt." Marco desperately tried to pacify the terrifying blonde.

Suddenly, with wide eyes, Star's hearts returned to her face and just giggled as if he told a funny joke. "Oh my bad. I guess I put it in the wrong way. Sorry Marco"

Marco slowly peered at her from under the table, making his way back to his chair slowly to make sure to trigger this girl's mood swings. "So...Oskar?"

"OH! Right! Oskar. So I like Oskar. Like a lot...but we can 't date. Not yet anyway."

"Does he even know you two want to be a thing? Because you kinda have to tell the other person you two should date. Just saying" Marco couldn't help but add a subtle layer of sarcasm to his observation

Star nodded "Obviously. The problem is this little rule. You see in Mewni, that's where I'm from by the way, the royal princess cannot date any suitor until the suitor defeats the previous suitors. I know right!" she added noticing Marco's confusion "Anyway, as much as I love Oskar, he's a musician. Not a fighter. I'm scared he'll get seriously hurt."

"Wait. You're princess Butterfly? Of Mewni? The main trading partner of the Terra dimension?"

"Yeah, I thought I made that clear."

"Crystal" Marco slumped into his chair before shooting up once more "Wait, so where do I fit in?"

"Oh that's easy. You are my new boyfriend."

Marco blinked, unsure he heard her correctly. This pretty, if a little strange, princess wanted to date him? Him? But didn't she just finish saying she loved this Oskar guy. This was spiraling out of control in ways Marco never could've guessed.

"You see" Star began to explain in a soft and vulnerable voice "I've got 7 exes. They're all selfish, greedy jerks. They refuse to let me be happy. My latest ex, Tom, is the their leader and makes the rules that the other six have to follow. If someone could beat Tom, they could disband the stupid group and I can finally get my happy ending. Or at least try to. I'm tired of being so alone...I just want someone to be happy with. Someone who'll take care of me and just wants to be with me...I just..."

Marco could see a tear drop from her eye. Marco couldn't believe how alone and lost this girl really was. He was overcome with the sudden urge to beat the shit out of this Tom guy. How dare he do this to someone! It wasn't right and Marco wasn't let this going to happen.

"I know what you mean about wanting your happy ending" Marco told her in a tender voice. Star couldn't help but look deep into his brown eyes. They were a pretty shade.

"So, basically, I pretend to be your boyfriend, beat your evil ex-boyfriends..."

"Exes" Star cut in softly

"Exes, and disband the group? Am I getting this right?"

Star nodded slowly, suddenly realizing how ridiculous this entire plan sounded. Was she honestly expecting this random guy she just met like 10 minutes ago to agree to pretend to her boyfriend and beat Tom? Marco seemed like a nice guy but he was so much more smaller than Tom, especially when he was in his demon form. This was a bad idea.

"Okay, I'm in" Star blinked, taking a second moment to make sure she heard him right.

"Marco, wait, are you sure?"

Marco nodded "But after we're done, you need to help me get my happy ending." As he gave her a small smile, Star could see the traces loneliness and deep sense of self-loathing etched in that smile.

"Okay Marco. Thank you so much! I...I can't even begin to tell you how much this means to me!" Star wiped her tears with the back of hand.

Marco pulled out a napkin and handed to Star.

she couldn't help but wonder why he was single. He seemed like a nice guy and was willing to put up with her antics just to help her despite the worst first impression ever.

"S-so Star Butterfly, will you be my girlfriend?" Marco said with a shy smile and small red tint on his face.

Star couldn't help it "Are you sure Marco? These guys are tough and they aren't going to play fair...and youjustmetmeandthisissoweirdand..."

Marco grasped her hands tightly, cutting off the runaway train of thought.

"I'm sure Star."

Star's smile was small but some how more endearing than any other Marco has seen in the short time he's known her.

"Yes Marco, I will be your girlfriend"

As Marco smiled at Star, his fake girlfriend he was trying to help hook up with another guy, he briefly wondered if other Marco's ever got into situations' as crazy as this.

'All I have to do is pretend to be her boyfriend, beat up her ex-boyfriends, disband them and have her help me finally ask Jackie out.' Marco thought to himself 'how hard could it be?"


	2. The test of the warrior

not much to say yet but there's an author note about who is Star's ex at the bottom.

* * *

Marco rubbed his hands together in an effort to stay warm from the snowy night.

Normally he would take a deep calming breath to keep himself warm but when the air itself seemed frozen still in mid-air from the cold, Marco kept his breathing to a minimum.

It was almost 9 o'clock in the evening. Marco could feel his nerves on edge and fingers twitching against his best efforts to keep still. He knew he would be nervous, it was expected given what he was about to do though it was one thing to be expect nervousness, it was another to feel it coursing through your body.

Marco felt a warm gloved hand gingerly touch his shoulder and turned to his fellow freezing friend who was waiting with him through the winter night.

Scratch that, not friend, girlfriend.

It had been 2 weeks since Marco Diaz asked Star Butterfly to be his girlfriend. It hadn't been easy at first. Star was energetic and extremely reckless and it seemed they were too opposite ends of the spectrum to convincingly be dating. But as seconds turned to minutes, minutes into hours and hours into days, Marco started to become fascinated by Star.

She was a dreamer, head so far up in the clouds it was amazing she did not float away. She was highly creative and adventurous, dragging Marco out of his stuffy dorm room to see the sights had to offer, many of which Marco had no idea existed. She loved randomly hugging him. And recently, whenever they held hands, she would skip forward, tugging him around with a grin on her face as they raced to wherever they were heading.

It was hard to not to be infected with her lively energy and even harder to believe that this girl was tormented by her exes. Everyone she met loved her and she loved everyone in equal measure. Who could possible want to ruin Star's life?

Marco turned to Star, worry in her eyes and a fake confident smile on her face. When her first ex contacted her about facing her new boyfriend, she practically boasted that Marco could easily defeat him. Of course, that was a week when the day seemed so far away. But as she began spending time with Marco, seeing peeks and glimpses of a fun loving, caring, adventure craving if slightly cynical soul hidden under his nonchalant, jaded exterior, she began worrying for her fake boyfriend.

It was unfair of her to ask him to risk so much for a relationship that wasn't going to go anywhere. She constantly asked him if he was sure he wanted to go through with this, if he understood the risks. As long as he walked away from her and the first fight, the exes could not challenge him whenever they wished. She would've put more effort into dissuading him from this insane task, but each time he would stare at her with those chocolate brown eyes brimming with a confidence she only saw whenever she was projecting her fear and comforted her.

Star briefly wondered how come Marco did not have a girlfriend. He was a good looking guy, apparently incredibly strong and loyal, good looking, and smart. Did no one else see what Star saw or maybe Marco was the one unable to see?

She shook her head as she stared at her phone, the minutes slowly counting down to the showdown from where there was no return. While she couldn't tear her eyes away from the phone which had quickly become the most despised thing she ever owned, she still could see out of the corner of them.

Marco was wearing something he called a karate gi. When Marco had discovered her ex was also a black belt in karate, he insisted on wearing it when the two faced off. It was considered honorable or something like that. Star had to admit when she first sawMarco in his white karate gi, she had thought he had mixed it up with pajamas. But Marco replied in a defensive, and rather adorable squeak, that no the gi was not his "Jam Jams" Star couldn't help but giggling at both his face and dorkyness. Serious, how did Marco not see how amazing he was?

Somewhere, far in the distance, a bell rang once. Twice. Five. Nine times. Right at the ninth ring, the wind shifted and swirled around violently as if someone's presence had disturbed the peace. Marco could make out the silhouette of a man slowly approaching the pair, a knack sack slung over his broad shoulders.

"That must be him" Star muttered fearfully. Marco turned to her and let a small smile grace his face despite the serious situation he was about to partake in. Star was bundled up in his red hoodie, hood pulled over her blonde hair and her hands covered in a matching pair of red mittens she currently had buried deep in the hoodie's pockets. She hadn't believed him when he said it was going to be cold to night but he was relived she decided to wear jeans and thick snow boots.

"I'll be back in a flash." he told her gently, gripping her shoulders tightly and comforting. Before he could turn around to face Star's ex, Star leaned forward, kissing him on the cheek.

"Good luck" she said with a smile, her face bright red, probably from the cold. Marco nodded, attempting to ignore the effect the cold had on his own cheeks and how soft Star's lips were.

Marco made his way over to the only area of the park that wasn't frozen solid with ice: the basketball court. As the ex approached closer, he could began seeing his physical features.

He was shorter than expected, 5'9 or so. Marco might've been an inch or two taller. He had jet black medium length hair caked with falling snow. There was a red headband with bright red sparring gloves. His gi arm sleeves were ripped off and Marco had admired the man's bravery for walking barefoot through the snow. His black belt somehow seem to hang proudly from his waist and each step he took closer, Marco could see the mass of muscles that this man was composed of.

The man stopped just a few feet from Marco, bowing respectfully as he placed his belongings to the side. Marco returned the bow as the stranger approached.

"You are Marco Diaz yes?"

Marco nodded "are you Ryu?"

The stranger nodded "I apologize for this. Star is a wonderful girl and if I were allowed, I would've simply let her be. But Tom rules the league and I must obey his rules."

Marco frowned slightly as a thought came to his head "Then you don't you forfeit? Let me win so you don't have to have a hand in this?"

Ryu shook his head "I am still a warrior. I am the weakest of the exes. I will be the only one that wishes Star's happiness but I still must test you. I must see if you have the strength to free Star from Tom's grasp."

Marco nodded in understanding "I will free Star."

Ryu crouched into a fighting stance "Then prove it. Words mean nothing on the field of battle! Only the strength of your body and the strength of your spirit will give your claims substance"

Marco bowed respectfully once more before taking his own stance. He vowed not to go easy on Ryu despite how much he was liking the warrior.

There was a moment of serenity, as the wind blew softly across the two fighters.

Ryu lunged forward, jabbing straight for Marco. Marco raised his arm to defend himself. Marco winced in pain when Ryu's attack connected with Marco's forearm. It felt like Ryu's arm was dipped in molten lead and Marco could feel tears building from the impact.

Marco shoved Ryu's arm away before striking at his chest with an open palm. Ryu bit his lip in pain but was already counterattacking, coming at Marco with his elbow. Marco blocked with his shoulder, jabbing with his free hand at Ryu. Ryu pulled back, twisting in a circle as his leg struck Marco in the jaw. Marco stumbled for a bit and narrowly missed being struck by Ryu's other leg. Marco gripped Ryu's leg that missed and flipped him to the floor.

Ryu hit the floor with a thud but spun into a kneeling position before uppercutting upwards like a rocket, shouting at the top of his lungs "Shoryuken!" Marco could feel the force of Ryu's fist, missing him by a mere inch but still staggering the boy. Ryu rose to an incredible height before gently falling to the ground into Marco's waiting foot. Ryu stumbled backwards but Marco lunged at his dizzy opponent with a flying kick. Ryu backed away causing Marco to completely miss him. Ryu swung his leg at Marco's head but Marco fell to the floor, his leg rising up to catch Ryu's chin.

Marco got to his feet and whirled around, striking Ryu's waiting bicep. Ryu's leaned back with the force of Marco's as he arched his hand backwards. Ryu's punch caught Marco square in the shoulder but Marco refused to acknowledge the pain. Marco grabbed onto Ryu's arm, pulling him forward as Marco dove his knee into his opponent's stomach. Ryu's face burst out in a shocked expression but Marco wasn't done yet

Lifting his knee as high as possible, Marco placed his foot onto Ryu's chest, kicking him as far back as he could. Ryu tumbled across the icy court before grinding to a halt, his body in a sprinter's position, heels dug firmly into the ground. Ryu dashed directly at Marco weaving left and right as Marco focused on where his attack was coming from.

Ryu flew at Marco, leg extended. Marco took a step back but quickly realized that was the wrong move as Ryu flew past him, landing onto the floor and using the momentum from his leg to spiral around in a circle before launching in the air with a "Tatsumaki Senpukyaku"

Ryu whirled around in mid-air like a tornado, a single leg sticking out, striking the defending Marco repeatedly before sending him flying with a harsh thud. Marco got his feet, Ryu landing calmly

"A worthy opponent. You may be able to defeat the league. But first, the final test."

Marco took deep breaths but his eyes shone in determination "I'm ready"

Ryu nodded in agreement before putting his hands together behind his back. Suddenly the air was thick with unknown power. The wind blew directly in Ryu's direction as his hands held a small, blusih flame that grew bigger and bigger with each passing moment.

Marco's eyes widen. What was going on?!

Ryu began shouting, the energy in his hand growing and growing more and more powerful "Metsu" Ryu's hands were forced further apart as a ball of swirling blue fire became bigger "Hadoken!"

Ryu lunged forward, launching the attack directly at Marco. The bright blue fireball turned into a purplish flame. It was larger than Marco's head, wrapped in swirling purple fire that seemed melted the snow all around the court. The very air began to heat up and turn into steam as the attack inched closer to him.

Marco wanted to dodge the attack but Ryu's words echoed at him. Ryu was the only honorable one among Star's exes. He alone wanted her to be happy but he was also the weakest among them. This was the final test. This was Ryu's greatest attack. If Marco wanted to truly be ready for the others, he must be able to withstand this blow.

Marco closed his eyes as he prepared for the incoming attack. He tried to hardest to ignore the unbearable heat approaching him, the near quiet sizzling as the flames evaporated the cold night air. Marco a deep breath just as the fireball exploded against his body.

Star screamed Marco's name, rushing toward where the flames had engulfed his entire body. She couldn't see anything amongst the thick smoke bellowing from where Marco once stood. She glanced all around the park to see that every inch of snow in a 4 foot radius had liquefied into water. Even the few nearby trees were set upon by tiny flames that slowly died in the cold air.

She began to sob quietly. She knew this was a horrible idea. Marco was such a nice guy. Why did she let him convince him he could defeat the league. It was hopeless. She was going to die alone and she couldn't live with the idea she had just murdered a completely innocent man.

"Marco!" She cried, tears wildly off her face as she fell to her knees, staring at the ground unable to see what remained of Marco "I'm so sorry!"

The crunching snow told her Ryu was approaching but she did not care how much he supposedly wanted her happy. He just murdered an amazing person.

A hand gripped her shoulder tightly but Star refused to look up at Marco's murderer. "Leave me alone Ryu! I...I...how could you?" Star screamed angrily.

"I have been defeated" Ryu's told her quietly, somewhere far to the left of her.

Star glanced upwards into the tired but smiling face of Marco. "MARCO!" Star shouted as she leapt to her feet, embracing him as tight as she could. She tried to ignore the fact his body slumped with fatigue or that he was incredibly warm to the touch. Marco was alive! That was the only thing that mattered.

Marco turned to Ryu who simply gave him a bow. "You are strong Marco Diaz. I believe you can defeat the league. But your battles will only become more difficult. Do not trust the others, especially Tom. They have no honor. Farewell and may you be successful on your journey for Star's heart."

Two weary fighters bowed to each other with the greatest respect they each could give. Ryu limped off into the darkness, swallowed by the night as if he had never been there.

Marco turned to see Star burying herself in his chest, nuzzling him gently while tiny, cold tears soaked into his gi. Marco wrapped around his arms around Star and embraced her tightly "Come on Star."

She pulled away in understanding and gripped his hand tightly. While she pulled in the direction of his dorm room, he pulled her in the direction of the middle of town.

"Marco, aren't you tired and sore and kinda like dying from that fight?" Star asked quizzically.

Marco shook his head "I'll be fine. I'm gonna be dead asleep tomorrow but right now I'm okay. Come on, don't you remember what I promised you?"

Star shook her head. Seeing someone engulfed in flames so hot that the snow itself turned to rain was a bit jarring and mind numbing.

Marco gave her a fake pout which brought a smile to her face "I can't believe my _girlfriend_ forgot that I promised to take her to see a movie after I kicked her ex's ass."

Star wanted to say no, that Marco needed to rest after such a fierce battle but between his goofy grin and his puppy eyes, she found herself nodding "Yeah you did promise"

"So let's go!" Marco cried out cheerfully, walking at a nice pace, holding Star's hand snugly.

And if Star Butterfly squeezed his hand tightly, happy that he was still breathing with the spark of hoping beginning to burn brightly that Marco Diaz could set her free from her lonely prison, well couldn't blame her for giving Marco another peck on the cheek. Or two. Or five.

* * *

Ryu is considered main character in the street fighter video game series. Honorable and always seeking to better his skills at fighting, he is the example of the wandering warrior. he also likes to throw fire at people in the most spammed move in existence that isn't pikachu's thunder.


	3. When worlds collide

The doorbell rang and Marco shot up, eyes aching, body twitching uncontrollably. Or was it the other way around? Marco was much too tired from his fight with Ryu several days prior. At the time the adrenaline and determination numbed his pain but the moment he got into his bed, his body cried out in agony as the various bruises and cuts began to form themselves on his body.

Of course he hid such things from Star. She would unnecessarily fuss and attempt to coddle and do everything for him which Marco did appreciate the gesture but it was unneeded.

Marco quickly discovered Star liked to take it upon herself to watch over him.

At first he thought it was because she was trying to keep her ticket to her happiness in good order for the upcoming fights. After all, Marco was only pretending to date her so he could become change the rules of the exes, disband them and she could be on her merry way to her dream life with Oskar.

But over the last 3 weeks that they had been "Dating" he noticed that Star wasn't trying to pamper him because of what he was doing.

Star just naturally liked helping people.

After the first time she visited him on campus, she noticed the several dozens of students forcing themselves to work through lunch just to ensure they were ready for the grueling classes. In subsequent visits, Star would bring food in the form of doughnuts, coffee, tea, random snacky foods and leave them at the library for anyone to snack on free of charge.

Marco often found her feeding the various animals that roamed the campus, petting and talking to them as if they had emotions, dreams, feelings while she waited for him.

And of course there was Marco himself.

They hung out often though not everyday as Marco's busy school schedule and Star's princess training usually collided against each other. But those moments when they did spend time together, Star was more than content to just stay in with him even though he could feel the strains of boredom and adventure calling to her. Marco had never been much of a go out and see the world person but since he wanted to make Star comfortable, he had been seeing a lot more of the town than he ever had before. Which admittedly wasn't the worst thing in the world.

Star was great, straight forward girl.

Marco shook his head the door bell rang again. He drowsily checked his phone and realized it was 9 in the morning so there was no way it could be the princess. She didn't wake up until 11 (Marco knew this first hand when he went to visit her at her apartment and find himself waiting 3 hours despite his calls and knocking.)

Marco let out an angry groan, vowing to himself that he would not murder whoever it was who thought to disturbing him on his only day off was a good idea (As a black belt, Marco legally had to register himself as a lethal weapon with the police.)

So racked with a dull pain, Marco made his way down stairs, trying to ignore the claustrophobic feeling he got whenever he walked down the tiny staircase.

He took a deep calming breath, rubbing his tired eyes before roughly opening the door, his disapproving face not change one inch once he saw who was on the other side.

"MARCO! You are alive buddy!" His best friend Ferguson shouted, trying to ignore the "I am totally going to kill you look" on Marco's face.

Ferguson was one of Marco's oldest friends from high school. Pudgy with orange hair and a really strange belief he was god's gift to women, Ferguson stuck with Marco through thick and thin. When Marco announced he was going to move to Canada to go to college, you could imagine his surprise when Ferguson and their other friends Alfonso and Janna moved alongside with him, surprising him at his college after his first day of school.

While outwardly Marco was annoyed at the idea his friends decided to tail him to not only to another city but another country, internally he was grateful he wasn't alone in this new place. It did mean a lot to him but it did not protect Ferguson from morning Marco's wrath.

"Hey Ferguson, what is it?" Marco mumbled, annoyance clear in his tone.

"MARCO BUDDY!"

"You said that already Ferg."

Ferguson shook his head "nah uh, I said Marco, you are alive! Totally different than Marco buddy"

Marco rubbed his eyes once more "What is it Ferguson?"

"Well I just wanted to take my best friend out! Go see a movie, get some lunch"

"I dunno, I'm a little short on cash..." Marco was lying but Ferguson didn't need to know that

"Don't worry buddy, it'll be my treat."

Marco's eyes narrowed. Now he knew Ferguson was up to something.

Well there was only one way to find out if a trap is a trap

"Okay Ferg, let me change and we'll head out."

Marco let out a yawn, the cold winter air biting into him as he curled deeper into his red hood.

"So what have you been up to? Haven't seen you in like years man!" Ferguson began as the pair walked down the snow covered streets.

Marco frowned, wondering when was the last time he saw Ferguson. It hadn't been years for sure but Marco was drawing a blank. Between ex fighting, studying and 'dating' Star, he was unable to recall the last time...

"Okay, more like two weeks but still..." Ferguson admitted

That was right! It had been their weekly pizza night, the day before he met Star and signing up for this crazy gig. No wonder Ferguson sought him out. He missed the last 2 pizza events.

"Sorry, I've been busy" Marco cryptically answered, unsure if he was okay with his friends finding out about Star. They would complicate things and assume and just be overall embarrassing.

"Busy? Busy with a gorgeous blonde if the rumors are true."

Marco flushed while his face took on a surprised look. He knew it! He knew this was a trap!

"Ugh, who has been spreading that around?" Marco frowned, wondering whose butt he was going to have to kick.

"Me" Ferguson said proudly "Caught you two watching a movie late a few nights ago. You two looked pretty cozy. Gotta admit though pretty ballsy wearing your GI on a date"

"Wait, you were at the movies?" Marco questioned.

Ferguson let out a hearty laugh, slapping Marco's playfully "Of course I was! I was on a date with smoking hot red head. You know the ladies can't resist the Ferg"

"Ferguson..." Marco muttered low

"Fine, fine I was with Alfonso. We got bored and you weren't answering your phone so we decided to watch a movie."

"Ugh, Alfonso knows too?"

Ferguson nodded "Yeah and he was eying your date. Be careful Marco, he might try to steal her away from you."

Marco shot a look of disbelief his way "Alfonso or were you eying Star?"

Ferguson's face broke into a playful grin "Ooooh Star? Is that her name?"

"I...just...it's not what it looks like!" Marco shouted in a panic, catching the attention of several passing people.

"Really? Cuz it looks like you finally got over Jackie"

Marco let out a groan of frustration "I..it...it isn't..."

"It's okay man, you looked really happy. I'm really glad you managed to find someone."

Marco stopped and processed Ferguson's words. He looked happy? He knew he had fun with Star but usually his face was locked in calm or pout mode. Marco didn't even know he could do happy.

"But you are in big trouble with the group! Janna and Alfonso are mad you haven't introduced her to us."

"Well..." Marco began, shifting uncomfortably under Ferguson's rare intense, disapproving gaze.

"So you must rectify this at once! We'll go to Luigi's pizza, bring her along! Everyone is dying to meet the girl who won safe kid's heart away from Jackie."

Marco glared at Ferguson "I am not safe kid! Stop calling me that!"

"It's agreed!" Ferguson ignored Marco's comment "You bring her around 5, see you then!"

and like some kind of overweight ninja, he was gone, disappearing in a whirl of snow and wind.

Marco stood there, mouth wide open as he came to the realization that not only that he had been played but he was also slower than his heavy friend.

5 o'clock rolled around and Marco was sweating bullets, wearing his usual black slacks, red hoodie and gray undershirt. Star was looking pretty in her pink snow jacket, black legging/sweatpants type clothing and thick snow boots, temporarily trading her devil horns for fluffy earmuffs.

"Why are you so nervous Marco?" Star asked cheerfully, marveling at the pizza place like she never seen one before.

Luigi's was a small place, easily crowded, barely fitting 20 or so people with a Donkey Kong arcade cabinet tucked away in the corner. Despite being the less famous twin brother of the world renown pizza maker Mario, people tended to prefer Luigi's pizza not only due to the fact that he was just as skilled as Mario

but also he was easier to relate to in comprehension to his seemingly bigger than life brother.

"They think we're dating. I...I dunno maybe this would get back to Jackie..."

Marco sounded so forlorn Star couldn't help but hug him, wrapping her arms tight around her faux boyfriend.

"Don't worry Marco, even if it does, when this is all over, I'll make sure you win over Jackie's heart!'

Marco smiled shyly, unaware his own arms were wrapping themselves around the blonde gratefully.

"Whoa, when Ferguson said Marco got a girlfriend that wasn't Jackie, I was sure he finally been slapped so much that he suffered permanent brain damage."

"She's pretty."

"She can hear you Alfonso."

"Star" Marco began warily "These are my friends. Ferguson" He pointed to an overweight, orange haired boy "Alfonso" The nerdy curly haired boy with glasses "and Janna" A beanie, skirt legging wearing girl with dark blue hair.

Marco held his breath. His friends were weird and he knew it. They made it a point to be weird. It was kinda their thing.

And while Star was weird, she...was a _different_ sort of weird. A fun weird but a weird he couldn't put his finger on quite yet.

And Marco knew full well sometimes two different types of weird just didn't mesh,

"HI MARCO'S FRIENDS!" Star shouted cheerfully "I'm Star! Nice to meet you! HUGS!"

and like that any worry Marco had about his two lives intermingling vanished when Star gave the group a massive, wide arm hug, crushing his friends to death.

"I like her!" Ferguson said cheerfully, Alfonso nodding in agreement while Janna attempted to claw her way out of the blonde's grip.

Maybe this wouldn't be so bad

"So" Ferguson began, taking a seat across from the couple "Did you guys kiss yet?"

Marco's face paled and turn bright red in embarrassment.

He took it back, this was going downhill very quickly.

Before Marco could even stammer out a response, Star cut in with a cheerful but firm grin, simply telling Ferguson "That is none of your concern."

Ferguson's eyes widen and for a moment Marco thought the beautiful friend ship was sinking into the inky abyss of well I never!

Until Ferguson's laugh began echoing through the small pizzeria.

"I like her! She is awesome!" Ferguson cried, motioning to Luigi that they were ready to order.

"Thanks! I like you guys too!" Star replied, lightly holding onto Marco's hand tenderly.

Marco flushed, still not used to this act of affection from...well any girl really.

"Wow, even got to hand holding huh?" Janna said, a twinkle of jealousy in her eyes "She must be something."

"Janna..." Marco warned but there was no stopping the Jan train

"I mean you haven't even been kissed or had a girlfriend and here you are holding a girl's hand. Growing up much Marco?"

"S-so how did you meet?" Alfonso cut in, eying the increased tension in Marco's shoulders.

"Oh at a coffee shop!" Star provided, smiling brightly despite the tension in the room "He was sitting there, being adorable."

Marco coughed awkwardly, not sure how to take being called adorable.

"So you are the one who made the first move right Star?" Janna asked "Because Marco here never would have the courage to do so himself."

"Hey!" Marco shouted, in a half playful, half angry way "maybe I did ask her! Maybe I decided to actually try and ask a girl out!"

"Did you?"

Marco's face flushed of all false bravado "W-well I-I mean..."

"I asked if the chair across from him was taken" Star answered "And he invited me to sit with him!"

The trio aww'd as one before a strange look overcame Alfonso's face.

"Wait, weren't you going to meet Jackie?"

"I..." Marco totally forgot that he subtly let it slip that he was going to the coffee house to meet up with Jackie before he received a text from the platinum blonde telling him she needed a favor from him.

"yeah, you were practically shouting it from the rooftops that you were finally going to talk to Jackie and you were gonna be sooooo smooth and win her over in a heartbeat" Ferguson added.

"I..I did not."

"Really, because half of the campus head you declaration of 'finally getting a shot' with your dream girl."

Marco sunk into his seat as Star looked at him curiously, some sort of matchmaking instinct written all over her face.

"But you have Star now!" Janna said, grinning slyly at the massive pizza that the green cap Luigi just dropped off at their table "and I think you two fit much better than you and Jackie"

Anger bubbled inside Marco's stomach

"Wait, you don't..."

"Yeah" Ferguson nodded, picking up a pizza and shoving a good chunk of it into his mouth, talking with his mouth full of the yummy food "ymou knmpow I nmever Llikmed Jmmamphackie"

"You never liked Jackie?" Marco was starting to feel of the sting of betrayal. His friends always encouraged him to talk to her over these last 10 years.

"No" Ferguson took a deep gulp, inhaling the pizza before speaking clearly "I mean it was obvious you liked her and she never really gave you any sign. Any okay come and ask her out."

"We share nods!"

"Psst" Janna scoffed "like that means anything. You and I nod all the time." and to prove her point, Janna did a quick nod towards Marco who responded automatically "See?"

"W-wait"

"And she never really talks to you. I mean you kinda just stand next to her for like ever and you both don't do anything. I think the least she can do is start a conversation going, get some chemistry bubbling or something. Me? I'm happy you found someone and you aren't gonna die alone"

Anger overflowed Marco's emotions as he shot up from his seat, his face etched into a scowl.

"For your information, Star and I are actually pr..."

"Marco, dear" Star tugged at his sleeve trying to get his attention. Marco turned to her, his rage evidently still boiling "Relax, it's okay"

"But..."

Star's bright blue eyes stared into his light brown ones, a wave of calm surging through him at the sight of the princess focusing solely on him

"It's _okay_ "

"R...right." Marco took a seat once more, ashamed he lost control of his emotions like that. His lack of progress with Jackie had always been a source of discomfort for him.

"Whoa. Pretty, weird, able to stop a raging Marco and able to put up with his obsession with Jackie? She really is the best!" Ferguson cheered.

"Don't worry Star." Janna patted the fellow girl's arm in equal parts threateningly and compassionately "He'll get over Jackie sooner or later."

"BYE FRIENDS BYYYYE!" Star shouted after the retreating figures of Janna, Alfonso and Ferguson "NICE TO MEET YOU! SEE YOU SOON!"

Star let out a content sigh, sliding her arm through Marco's as they began to walk to Star's apartment.

"S-sorry about them." Marco said after a moment of silence "I know they are a little much..."

Star shook her head, squeezing his arm tenderly while patting his shoulder "They were fun."

"And thanks for calming me down" Marco smiled at her gratefully.

"Marco" Marco disliked how serious Star's tone became "We need to talk about letting others know about our _actual_ relationship status."

"Oh? O-of course Star"

"You cannot tell anyone we're not really dating. If you do and it spreads, the Mewni officials won't count it and all this hard work would be for nothing."

"W-wait...I can't even tell my friends we're not dating? But what if Jackie finds out...?"

Star shook her head "You help me and I'll help you when this is done."

Marco pouted angrily "that's not even close to fair."

Star stopped him, looking sharply in his direction "You know what's not fair? Letting my exes control my life. And if I didn't like who they turned out to be, well tough luck! I can't break up with them!"

Marco's eyes softened "Wait...you can't..."

Star shook her head, bitter tears forming in the corners of her eyes "I can't break up with anyone I date. It's against the rules or something. Traditional Mewni bullshit. The guy has to dump me for me to be free to date someone else."

"So how did you get exes?"

Star let out a sorrowful laugh "They got tired of me and dump me when someone better came along. Well not Ryu. He left me because he wanted to focus on his training. But everyone else? They got tired of my bubbly, cheerful attitude and threw me away like trash. Too childish, too happy, too Star"

"Star..."

"I hate this situation and hate the stupid rules. I know you want Jackie but right now it can't be a thing. For what it is worth, I am sorry I'm keeping you from your true love. I really am and I feel terrible I even asked you to..."

Star was stopped in her tracks, Marco's arms wrapping around her tightly in a comforting embrace. Star let out a content sigh, holding onto her fake boyfriend. Marco never initiated hugs so this was an extremely sweet gesture from him.

"I...I'm sorry Star. I'm acting like a child and I forget you have it worse than me." Star smiled at the slight squeeze Marco gave her.

"It's okay. We all have our moments." Star whispered, getting sleepy in Marco's warm embrace.

The two parted, smiling brightly at each other as Marco offered his arm like a true gentleman and like a true lady, Star took it joyfully.

The pair walked comfortably, enjoying the moment of peace before curiosity began gnawing at Star

"Marco?"

"Star?"

"Why haven't you dated anyone other than Jackie?"

Marco was so silent Star thought she stepped over her boundaries. It was such an intensely personal questions and Star just asked point blank. It was really tactless of her and she...

"She's the one..." Marco mutter softly, clearly embarrassed about talking such a subject.

"Huh?"

"She's the one. I can feel it. You know that...that feeling where you just know you are supposed to be together?"

Star let out a humorless laugh "I don't know actually. Every time I thought I did, I turned out to be wrong. I know what you mean but I've been so bad at chosen my boyfriends that...well I can't relate."

"S-sorry"

Star shrugged, her true emotions covered by her calm demeanor but Marco saw right passed that "We all make mistakes. It happens."

"Anyway. She's the one...and she...I dunno I get the feeling she actually likes me but isn't sure what to do. Like me."

"But you are a great guy! Surely someone else has seen that?"

Marco shook his head sadly "N...nobody ever wanted me. Always picked second or last. The safe kid that just was undateable. Well not Jackie. She...we _nod"_

Marco let out a depressed sigh, memories from a time not that long ago coming back to him.

"Well I think you are great and if no one else sees that, they can eat unicorn poop!"

Marco couldn't but laugh at Star's comment "Unicorn poop?"

Star simply smiled at him as the two stopped in front of her door step.

"Well I'll see you later Star."

"Marco, wait"

Marco turned to the princess, surprised to see her cheeks covered in a pinkish tint, something he would've attributed to the cold if it wasn't for the fact her hearts were faintly glowing as well.

"Star?"

"So, if you never had a girlfriend...I take it you've never been kissed?"

"I...I totally been kissed! I mean I've done the kissing, with the lips and the..the..the the moving of the two people..."

"Marco." Star said firmly.

Marco sighed once more "No, I've...never been kissed. Pathetic right?"

Star shook her head "A kiss isn't just something you give to anyone, it's special and meant for only the specialiest of people.

Marco smiled "yeah...it is."

"Y-you know at some point we...we're going to have to kiss."

Marco was glad it was cold out because it covered up the fact he was blushing like mad.

"I..we...fake dating...and kiss...us...you...me...I...wow..." Marco ran his hand through his hair.

Star let out a strain smile, finding Marco's suddenly shy behavior just too cute.

"So..umm...did you want to now?"

Star was surprised at how direct he was and if she didn't know better, would've taken his question as he was calm and collected about this. But his darting eyes, labored breath and subtle twitching clued her in he was extremely nervous for his first kiss.

"M-maybe we should wait" Star began, waving her hands to stop Marco but Marco turned to face her, cheeks bright red from the cold.

"You..you said it yourself. We need to sell the lie and at some point we need...to..umm...yeah."

"But maybe this is a little too soon? I really didn't think this out, I never do and..."

"Star!" Marco interrupted "The sooner we do this, the...the sooner I can get better at it and convince people we're...umm...oh boy. We're a thing. A-and it'll be great practice for Jackie!"

"I guess when you put it that way." Star mumbled, turning to face Marco.

The air was thick as Marco began scratching the back of his head, unsure how to proceed with the kiss. Did he just lean in? Did he have to wait for permission?

"Marco"

Maybe there was some visual cue. Or Star would tell him?

"Marco!"

Was this even allowed? She was a princess of an entire land and he was just some random college student. Though now that he thought about, why weren't there guards watching the princess? Why exactly did she come to Canada?

"MARCO!"

Wait, what if he was horrible at this? What if he was so bad, Star rather break up with him than keep their fake relationship going? That would be really devastating to Marco's self esteem. Or the little he had.

Marco's brain slowed to a stop when Star's warm, gloved hands gripped his icy cheeks, bringing his face closer to the princess.

"Stop overthinking" Star told him simply "And just go for it."

Marco nodded, stunned by Star's wisdom as he went with his gut, closing his eyes as he leaned closer.

Star didn't know why the sight of Marco leaning in to kiss her was making her heart beat like a wild drum. Maybe it was due to the fact this would've been her first kiss since Tom. While he wasn't her true first kiss, she hadn't really done this sort of thing since then.

Star silently laughed at herself, realizing she was acting just like Marco despite all her advice for him to stop overthinking and just go for it. He was really starting to rub off on her.

Star closed her eyes, trying to ignore the tickling of Marco's breath on her lips, the cold air sending shivers down her spine.

She tried to keep her eyes shut as she closed the distance between them, unsure when exactly her lips would find his. The anticipation was making her nervous in a way she hadn't felt for a long time.

And then she felt it, the soft brush of his lips against hers.

The pair jumped back, blushing fervently while staring shyly towards one another.

"I...sorry. It...it caught me off guard how...soft your lips are" Marco told her, trying his hardest not to break eye contact with her.

"I-it's okay. It caught me off guard too" Star admitted. "W..we should try again."

Marco nodded, his words failing him as reality sunk in: he was about to have his first kiss.

They closed their eyes once more and began slowly inching closer and closer to each other, tension high, nerves overloading their senses.

The pair's eyes shut open as one as the quiet hum of electricity filled the air, becoming louder as something cut through the very air.

There was a loud hiss.

The two pulled away from each other, a bright blue beam of light narrowly missing removing Marco's nose from his face.

The beam effortlessly sliced down through Star's door, parting it down the middle as if it was made of butter.

Marco turned to find someone standing right next to them, his weird beam sword hanging lazily at his side.

The wielder of the strange light sword was just as weird as his weapon. He was a 20 something year old man, a red jacket, a white plain t-shirt, torn and well worn blue jeans ontop of some sneakers. His yellow tinted sunglasses hid his murderous blue eyes, his black spiky hair appearing to defy gravity.

Marco stepped in front Star, his arms outstretched in a protective manner, eying the weapon carefully. It looked like a lightsaber but it had some sort of back, guiding the energy into a form of a blade.

"Who the hell are you?"

The man smiled, watching the two like he was watching a comedy.

"I'm Travis, Travis Touchdown. Star's 2nd ex boyfriend. Hey, Buttercup, got anything to eat before I brutally murder your boyfriend?"

* * *

Travis Touchdown is the protagonist of No more heroes by one of my favorite developers Suda 51. A perverted, immature yet honorable Otaku who joins an assassin league, aiming for number 1 not only for cash but also a chance to have a private moment with his hot blonde coordinator. Armed with his beam katana, wrestling moves, he fights the most insane cast of bosses ever ranging from an old lady with a shopping cart cannon to a super model with a assault rifle as a leg to a professor who put his brain into a giant tank. a fun awesome game for the wii and ps3. Get ready for the big fight next chapter.


	4. Diaz Vs Touchdown

Hello fanfiction, Mr.E here and yes it is finally back, Marco Diaz vs the world. Sorry i was working hard on the plot and honestly, it still needs a lot of work but we shall take it as we go along. thank you for every single review, favorite and follow. they mean the world to me.

a special thanks to h mae - yeah its a pretty complex system and you got it right. Every time someone breaks up with Star, the ex becomes an obstacle with the latest Ex in charge of the rules (Some convoluted reason of he must care most about the princess because he is the newest etc etc poor line of thinking.) all the exes pretty much gave up their matches when told to fight except tom who, as the newest ex, ordered the rest to fight off any challengers for Star's heart (more on why later) so now the exes have to fight Star's new boyfriend on tom's orders because no one bothers to update rules. Star is able to get a feel for Marco and knows how to calm him down and yeah its too soon for a first kiss! haha sorry it took so long. much work went into this. a lot of work is still going into this.

Tyrekme576- sorry about the wait.

Fabio- yeah its pretty tense because they pretty much want what's best for Marco even if he doesn't agree. Janna may have a thing for marco. haha it was tempting but when i do au stuff, i do try to make some things my own and i think it would show the length of Marco would go to be with jackie since he doesn't know what being in a relationship is like and may be a tad bit lonely. haha as for the sexy phase, it'll be a video game character. probably. we'll see. sorry about the wait.

grim: yep its own story!

SVTFOEfantic- Well in terms of good. more like...anti-hero with lots of negative and positive traits. and you really shouldn't like him on the antagonist side of the view cuz he is pretty bad. Luigi is a bit further but he's actually making himself unlike Mario who pretty much is just for show at this point. "So...she's my worst enemy? i guess i could live with that"

guest: i am happy you enjoyed it!

watermalone: Sorry for making you wait even longer haha well maybe not the most biggest defeat since he is the only second boss. er ex. don't hide i've done worse and more embarrassing things for my OTP

smokescreen: thanks i'll try to keep up the good work

misspineapple' sorry made you wait.

richi :I am but this is low on the list cuz i need to still work out a lot of the details.

smittytheories: its here its here it...is..here! *falls asleep*

Axis25: Well i am glad you read it and thank you for doing so and honestly, i think a lot of people laughed at Ryu being the first ex and honestly, since i'm not held back by little things like trademark and copyright, i decided to pull the exes from the video games themselves. be good change of pace. I know i answered your question but for anyone else, yes all the exes will be off of video game characters, except for ryu, anti-heroes and villains. i have thought of a few but if you have any ideas you would like to share, feel free to. I don't mind listening to what you came up with at all!

so here we go. after forever and ever, i am updating Marco vs the world. sorry about the delay. i was, and am, still working on it.

before i let you go, quick recap. Travis is star's 2nd ex from a game called no more heroes. It is a game that is dark, rated M for mature and does not take itself seriously. Like Travis is an otaku who loves pizza and anime with his sole reason for entering the United Assassin association is to sleep with Sylvia, his guide and agent in the UAA. He only enters the UAA because he kills someone with a beam katana he won in an online auction. Travis is a pervert, crude and pretty much an ass who has a code of honor and really does not like fighting women. Great game for an more adult feel but get ready to grind. you need to do a lot of minigames to get money to challenge the bosses and honestly, they aren't varied and there's not too many fights but those boss battles are awesome and funny.

A little warning, there's cussing and some adult themes ahead given Travis's background so you have been warned. so there we go, sorry for the delay, hope you enjoy the newest chapter and thank you fo everything, especially your patience. i own nothing and enjoy.

* * *

Over her 19 years of existence, Star had faced many situations. A great deal of them where fun, many more awkward and everything in between was classified as boring.

She did not know how to label this particular situation, one she never thought she'd find herself in. It was so comical like a sitcom or poorly written teen drama show about high school with a thinly conceived plot.

Star Butterfly, princess of another dimension, was currently sitting in her little home away from home with her fake, for show, basically hired boyfriend while her immature, otaku ex was wolfing down a hastily made sandwich like it was water in the middle of the desert, beam katana at the ready to murder previously mentioned fake boyfriend for some ancient, barbaric rite of passage to be officially considered good enough to date her even though he was just really there to disband the league of evil exes trying to control her life and let her date the real man of her dreams.

Life was strange and fickle sometimes.

"So..." Marco began casually, uneasily eying the hilt of the man's lightsaber and quickly realizing why Ryu was the bottom of the evil exes "Travis...how did you meet Star?"

Travis glanced towards Marco, his yellow tinted shades remaining on his face despite the fact the sun had long since faded away.

"It was in high school. After Star came back from her summer in Japan, she met me."

Star groaned unhappily, covering her eyes in embarrassment. Star wished she could go back in time and smack herself for even considering going out with Travis. Looking back, the warning signs had been obvious and present since the moment she learned his name and he hadn't changed since.

"Star loves herself some bad boys" Travis grinned cockily "and with my cool hair and slick red jacket, she couldn't help but be instantly attracted to me. Not that could blame her."

"Ooookay" Marco nodded in agreement though he still couldn't picture how Travis managed to make Star fall for him "I guess you must've been quite the cool kid."

Travis grinned triumphantly "Yep, 7 years and still rocking my signature kickass style"

Marco grimaced at Travis's exaggerated and unnecessary poses, flexing nonexistent muscles to show off to people who did not care.

"And little Buttercup here couldn't get enough of my passionate kisses and butt pinches" Travis wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Star turned bright red with horror, glaring deeply at Travis while trying to keep her voice from cracking "T-Travis!"

"And man did she love to moan. Especially this one spot on her neck that make her moan so loud that..."

"Stop!" Marco raised his hand in submission "Just stop, please. For the love of god please."

Travis shrugged, seemingly unconcerned with Star's mortified stare and Marco's uncomfortable face.

"Anyway, Star got too relaxed and boring and I dumped her. Can't be with a girl who can't let loose and have fun."

"hey! I can totally have fun and let loose."

Travis's grin became a perverted smile, eyes narrowing eagerly "Why don't you show me what you're like all grown up and with your hair down?"

Travis was surprised when he found himself face to face with a furious Marco, the 19 year gripping Travis's red jacket tightly with boiling anger.

"Don't talk to my girlfriend like that!"

"Yeesh" Travis rolled his eyes, pushing Marco off and fixing his crumpled jacket "I was playing. Not interested in Star when I've got another hot blondie waiting for me."

Marco scoffed in disbelief "Yeah right."

"It's true. Once I kill everyone above me in the United Assassin's Association, she's going to sleep with me."

"You're an assassin?!" Marco cried out, a wave of uncertainty passing through his entire being.

"Yep. How else am I going to pay for my anime and pizza?"

"Seriously, you murder people just for cartoons and junk food?!"

"Hey!" Travis pointed defensively towards Marco "As an Otaku I take great offense to some no good american punk calling Anime cartoons! Anime stands for animation you ignorant ass!"

Marco looked gobsmacked at Travis's retort while Star rubbed her forehead wearily, muttering under her breath "Omg, he's gotten worse."

"Besides" Travis leaned back, putting his dirty, muddy sneaker on Star's wooden, well polished table "I only kill other assassins and bad people. Each fight to rank up costs me some serious dough and there's only so many jobs out in the world I could take before it gets repetitive and boring."

Marco took a deep breath, watching Travis carefully for any sudden moves. He had no idea how good of a killer Travis was but that lightsaber looked like it could do some serious damage.

Star could feel her heart crawl to a stop, the atmosphere of the house shifting within a moment, the awkward air now becoming cold, distant and full of danger.

Travis stared at Marco nonchalantly, arms tucked behind his head "Normally, I wouldn't even bother with you. I would've just blown off the match and say you beat me. Wasting precious time being here instead of working my ass off getting coconuts or watching my favorite anime Pure White Lover Bizarre Jelly"

"Pure White..."

"But you see" Travis planted his feet firmly onto the floor, hand hovering over his weapon, ready to beat Marco to the draw "Tom placed a pretty penny on your head. Don't know why but seems like he thinks you're a big threat."

Marco could feel the sweat build upon his brow, sliding down the side of his face as Travis's eyes went cold and emotionless.

"and it's just enough for my next match."

No one said anything as the subtle click, click, click of a nearby clock ticked away in the silence of the home, everyone preparing for a massive fight but unsure when exactly it would occur.

"Ready Marco?" Travis asked calmly, rising to his feet while taking his beam katana into his hand.

Marco nodded, knowing it was pointless for him to try to convince Travis not to fight. He was a cold blooded assassin and the lure of money was enough to tempt the lazy ass.

Marco stood up, turning to face Travis in the tiny dining room. He could do this. He took on Ryu, a warrior far superior than himself and lived. He could take on this puny, immature otaku who fancied himself a master swordsman.

 **Marco Diaz VS Travis Touchdown**

 **FIGHT!**

The blue beam of the lightsaber flared to life, blinding Marco for a critical moment with its illumination as Travis gripped the hilt in both hands, raising it high before delivering the finishing blow.

Marco's vision cleared in time to see the beam of death approach and he leapt backwards, just barely avoiding being chopped in half down the middle.

Travis chased after Marco, opening for a wide swing and leaving a nice scorch mark trail on Star's wall before he swung at Marco's head like it was an oversized baseball.

Marco ducked under Travis's attack, lunging towards the older man with reckless abandon, catching the assassin by the midsection and driving him back.

Travis's lungs emptied themselves of any and all air giving Marco time to drive his fist into his foe's stomach, hoping to press his advantage.

Travis snarled, jabbing the hilt of the beam katana into Marco, forcing him to break off his attack and giving Travis a moment to recover.

Marco gripped his aching shoulder as Travis rushed towards him, horizontally swiping at Marco left to right in flurry of strikes.

Marco instinctively reached for a nearby tray to fend off the attack before remembering that he was facing a lightsaber. There's nothing on Earth that could stand up to that piece of badass sci fi technology.

Star frowned at the sight of Marco reaching for something to defend himself before changing his mind, nearly losing his hand to Travis's assault before defensively bobbing and weaving to avoid Travis's flurry of swipes.

"This isn't the time to play around Marco!" Star shouted, catching Marco off guard and distracting him for a moment.

"What?" Marco snapped his head to face Star before realizing that was the worst thing he could've done in the middle of a fight.

Travis's foot struck squarely at Marco's chest with far greater strength Marco would've attribute to the scrawny otaku and sent him skidding through the doorway and into Star's tiny, homey feeling kitchen.

Travis raised an eyebrow towards Star while motioning to Marco in disbelief, his eyes asking if Star really expected Marco to win this fight.

Star huffed, sticking out her tongue as Travis made his way to finish off Marco.

"Marco! Stop playing around!" Star called into the other room "Defend yourself! You're never going to win hand to hand."

Marco rolled out of the way of Travis's lunge, scampering and flailing wildly onto his feet before whirling around to face Travis.

"He's got a freaking lightsaber!" Marco yelled back, leaping sideways as Travis resumed his attack "I doubt you have anything that can stand up to a lightsaber!"

"It's not a lightsaber Marco! Those aren't real, it's a beam katana. Just a really really futurey sword!"

Marco yelped when Travis grabbed him by his collar, the assassin giving Marco a mischievousness smirk before hauling him upwards, easily lifting the 19 year old and suplexing him into the tile of the kitchen floor with unbelievable strength.

Marco blacked out for a moment only to find his vision blurry and shaky, an unfocused image of Travis standing over him, casually checking his cell phone and humming a repetitive but catchy tune.

Marco groaned, clutching at his throbbing head while trying to ignore how much his back was aching with pain.

"One second sunshine" Travis told Marco, lifting a finger to tell the downed teen to wait while his thumb swiped all across the cell phone screen in a rapid movement "I gotta answer this questionnaire for the UAA. Now where was I...how did you find out about the UAA? By...killing...rank...number 10...because I...needed anime money."

Marco blinked, his vision slowly returning normal and allowing Marco to asset the predicament he was currently in.

Marco noticed the handle of a nearby broom, not the most ideal armament but if Star was right about her facts, and Marco prayed to god she was, he should be able to fend off Travis long enough to find a more suitable weapon.

Marco took a deep breath, mentally counting down from 5...4...3..

"Okay" Travis cheerfully said out of nowhere, shutting close his phone and fixing his gaze on Marco "ready to get back to killing."

"One!" Marco shouted rolling out of Travis's downward thrust and gripping the broom tightly in his hand.

"Seriously? A broom?" Travis scoffed at the idea of Marco trying to take him down with a common household item "I've taken down cyborgs, tanks and even a half sexy, half gun model. You cannot seriously believe that little piece of shit is going to..."

Pain erupted throughout Travis's skull causing him to wince in agony and instinctively hold his head in hopes to alleviating the injury.

Marco drew back the broom, holding it firmly between in his hand like some sort of spear.

Marco lunged forward, the rough bristles of the brush raking against the unguarded Travis's face, causing him jump in surprise and scratch at his cheek uncomfortably

"Ugh what the hell!?" Travis glanced towards Marco only to find a quickly approaching broom heading straight for him.

Travis blocked Marco's thrust, catching the broom head between his beam and the hilt but the awkward angle prevented the assassin from counter attacking properly.

Marco pressed the broom purposely against Travis's weapon, straining to push Travis against the far wall, hopefully limiting his sword's effective range and turning this free for all into familiar fist based combat.

Travis held his ground, refusing to give Marco even an inch despite the soreness that began creeping into his arm.

"Give it up Touchdown!" Marco yelled, beads of sweating reforming and dripping down his face "You can't keep this up!"

"Psst, whatever sunshine" Travis shot back, his face equally contorted with effort "I'm a trained assassin, I can do this all day!"

The two growled at the other, eyes blazing with furious anger at the idea they were equal in strength.

Marco knew something was up when Travis sent him a cocky grin but before he could piece together the otaku's plan, it was already in motion.

Travis shut off his weapon, the room dimming significantly as Marco found himself tumbling forward, his broom now clashing against empty air and possessing no reason to remain at a standstill.

Travis untangled his hilt away from Marco's broom and slipped underneath the preoccupied Marco, trapping one arm with his own and locking Marco's neck with the other.

Marco struggled to break free when he felt Travis kick his legs into the air and put all his weight forward, catching Marco into another well known wrestling move known as a DDT.

Marco's skull collided with the solid tile floor with a loud crack and while Marco could not stop the incredible headache from forming, he counted himself lucky that he was still alive.

Travis stood triumphantly over Marco, shaking his head in disappointment at the sight of his defeated foe.

"You know with how much Ryu was praising you, I was expecting more of a fight" Travis taunted, walking over to the fallen Marco "I mean you actually took his Metsu Hadoken at face value and lived? Impressive but right now."

Marco coughed violently as Travis kicked him in the stomach, clicking his tongue in disappointment.

"Got to say, there isn't much to you is there? Here's a little tip for you sweetheart, first rule is there are no rules. We evil exes aren't going to play fair and never should you."

Marco glared at Travis, the assassin leaning over him, mocking him.

"I mean you won't actually learn that lesson since I'm going to be killing you now but hey, it was for the best. I mean I'm not as strong as Ryu but psst I am like the easiest ex. If you can't beat me..."

A faint blue light basked over the walls of the kitchen and Marco, the low hum of electricity filling the room, Star staring from the doorway, mortified and distraught.

"Look away Buttercup" Travis said gently, lifting the beam katana high in the air "This ain't going to be pretty and you know you can't stop this."

"Travis, WAIT!" Star called out but it was too late, the beam fell towards Marco.

Marco let out a cry of annoyance when the back metal piece of the weapon made contact with him, not enough to do any real damage but still stinging a bit.

"Travis!" Star muttered breathlessly, wiping her tears and letting out a sigh of relief "You spared him! Thank you!"

Travis didn't hear the princess's thanks. Instead he peered at the hilt of his sword, eying it carefully in confusion.

"What was that Star?" Travis muttered absentmindedly, turning the weapon this and that way for closer inspection "I didn't catch that. I'm trying to see why my beam suddenly gave out."

Star felt an icy chill upon realizing the only reason Marco wasn't dead was because the beam katana ran out of energy rather than Travis deciding to spare Marco.

"Shit, the batteries dead" Travis clicked his tongue "Gonna have to recharge."

Star pouted towards Travis, staring daggers into the back of her ex "Don't expect me to let you use my phone charger after nearly gutting my boyfriend. I mean...I...well...I don't know what kind of charge you need but don't expect me to let you borrow it!"

"No need princess, you just got to give it a little loving."

Star could feel her stomach churn unhappily, the blood rushing to her face as Travis began lifting the hilt up and down in a rapid motion, legs wide and gripping the weapon with two hands while violently shaking it like he was...he was...

oh god and with the long back emitter of the beam katana it look like he was actually...

Star groaned, holding her hand to her mouth in hopes that her dinner wouldn't be exiting the way it came in.

"Almost...got it..." Travis grunted, going faster and faster about recharging the sword.

Marco crawled to his feet, trying to ignore the suggestive nature of Travis's recharge.

Before Travis could react, Marco struck at his face, a straight jab to the chin that sent Travis reeling, stumbling backwards towards the tiny corner of the room while his arms flailed helplessly in an attempt to gather his bearings.

Marco prepared to follow up, to end the match while he had a chance to strike at Travis when suddenly the kitchen vanished in a whirl of debris and fire.

Marco coughed the smoke out of his lungs, his mouth dry as the cold night wind howled loudly in his ears, a soot covered Star and Travis offering their hands to the disoriented Marco.

Marco took Star's hand, wearily casting a suspicious look towards Touchdown but as Marco rose to his feet, unsteadily wobbling back and forth, he realized that the trio no longer stood in the kitchen but rather half destroyed, half standing house.

Bits and chunks of a wall surrounded them like pieces of an incomplete skeleton. Dirt, bricks, mortar, pieces of dinnerware, a long sleek sheet of metal that was once the fridge and a random assortment of smashed, crushed and burnt junk littered the floor as small fires were scattered randomly around, slowly dying due to the exposure to the chilly night air.

"MY HOUSE!" Star shrieked, trying to find some sort of comfort that everyone important made it through the explosion okay. Oh and Travis, he made it too.

"Star..." Marco whispered but Star was too upset to hear, cradling a random piece of a teddy bear lovingly in her arms.

Marco glared towards Travis who seemed more focus on something across the street rather than the unneeded destruction he caused to Star's home.

Marco opened his mouth to scold Travis

"Marco" Travis said quietly, his tone serious and cold.

Marco stopped, wondering what in the world Travis had to say to justify this completely reckless behavior.

"New deal. You help me defeated this shit face, I'll forfeit the match."

Travis' beam katana hissed to life but his back remained turned towards Marco, the sword hanging at his side.

Marco glanced across the street only to find someone he had never seen before chuckling evilly at the sight of the destroyed house.

Whoever stood across the street wore a white cape with blue interior trimming, his strange jumpsuit darkish blue gray color. He wore futuristic white gloves and boots with a comically large V belt buckle, a well fitting blue mask with red and white lines hiding his identity.

"YES!" The man yelled over the crackling of the fires "That was amazing. I didn't expect any of you to survive but you did and now I get to kill you myself! Awesome! I have to admit if I manged to off you with that puny attack, I would've been really disappointed."

The man let loose another round of maniacal laughter, blood lust shining through his masked face.

"Who the hell are you!" Marco demanded, clutching his fist angrily.

"I...am Destroy Man! Ranked number 7 on the UAA"

Marco threw a dirty glare towards Travis "You son of a bitch! You knew this was going to happen."

"Calm your horses, I may fucking hate you on principle but there's no way I would purposely put Star in danger like this." Travis countered, his rage barely contained at the idea of this lunatic trying to hurt innocent people for no reason.

"I waited too long for you Travis and decided to hunt you down myself! Money or not, I'm challenging you to a rank battle!" Destroy man giggled, a deranged edge to his tone "and now I get to slaughter two more people! The night is getting better and better."

Marco took his place next to Travis, his fury matching Travis's and coming to an understand with the older man.

"We take him out, you give up. That's the deal?"

Travis nodded "You game?"

Marco nodded in agreement "I'm game. Lets take the fucker out."

"Lets"

"Yes" Destroy man snickered at the stupidity of his foes "Let's!"

There was a click and whirl, Destroy Man revealed a new weapon to unleash upon his hapless prey, one Marco could not believe someone would choose as a way to fight someone.

"Are those...machine gun nipples?"

Travis sighed tiredly "I am afraid so."

* * *

Destroy man is the 3rd boss in the game and no, not Star's ex.


End file.
